Misery Loves Company
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: Edward wants Roy Mustang, but you can't always get what you want. So he'll take the next best thing, even if that means a shape shifter. Meanwhile, for Envy it started as a meaningless fling, but now that his feelings are taking a more serious turn, he can't stand what he has to do to stay with Ed.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, or any related characters.**

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Edward, in a way, hated how he had been conducting his life lately. It was all a sham, wasn't it? Just a lie, and not even one that was well kept together, but one that was pulled over him like a ratty blanket. No matter how hard he tried to bury himself in it, there were holes, and it was too small to cover all of him anyway.

But he couldn't stop, couldn't change.

He was _lustful_. And, as so often was the case with humanity, Ed wanted something he couldn't have.

Edward began to feel warm just thinking about the man. Strong jaw, short, attractive hair (and when that hair was slicked back, _fuck_), tall and muscular…he gulped, throat suddenly dry.

The problem was, Roy was well and truly a heterosexual. And last time Ed checked, he still lacked the junk necessary to get the man into bed with him. For anyone else this would be a problem, but Edward…he just happened to know a certain almost-human who could, at the very least, look like Roy. Talk like Roy, even.

It was the ultimate in role playing, and Ed exploited Envy's abilities eagerly.

He let himself fall back onto the bed, groaning. The only problem was, Edward wasn't (or so he liked to think) an asshole by nature. He knew it was wrong, in a way (okay no, definitely wrong), to do what he had been doing for the past several months. But he couldn't stop himself; maybe he was a sex addict, maybe he was just a hormonal teenager who was stubborn as hell. Really, did it matter?

Ed stood up, and headed out to the living room. Most likely, it would matter again in a couple hours, but right then, he was hot and wanting like he was more or less all the time, and just like always, he was going to sate his thirst.

Spotting a shock of green hair in the doorway to the kitchen, Edward called out just one word: "Envy."

The homunculus knew, by now, that tone of voice. Ed didn't even wait to see if Envy would turn towards him, answer him…he would follow. And Edward, as always, would be waiting.

Slipping easily under the covers of his ratty blanket, Ed stripped off his shirt and crawled onto the bed. He liked Roy to be the one to finish undressing him, to be a demanding bastard like always…what was irritating in the office was a major turn on under the sheets.

And sure enough, the man walked into the room, eyes dark and lustful. From his position on the bed, Edward watched, smiling, as Roy approached him, tearing off his own shirt and climbing atop him. His breathing quickened as the man growled his name, low, before kissing him.

Somewhere deep, deep in his mind, Ed knew it was Envy he was now making out with. He knew he was lying to himself and taking advantage of the homunculus, but it was all too easy to push those thoughts away and moan his desire's name against the lips that were on his. "Roy…"

* * *

Envy liked to fuck. It didn't matter who it was, what gender they were; sex was a nice pastime. So when the blonde pipsqueak came up to him and proposed that they become fuckbuddies, Envy was more than happy to agree…even if he would be required to wear the guise of Roy-effing-Mustang whenever they got to it.

Really, what did it matter? Even if he didn't look like himself, Envy could still _feel_ everything, and that was all that was important, right?

At the beginning, yes.

But by this time, several months since they started shacking up, Envy had managed to do something he didn't know was possible for a homunculus: fall for Ed.

How that had happened, he couldn't say, but it was _killing_ him. Aside from the unsettling presence of such _heartwarming, human_ emotions, was the fact that Envy couldn't just tell himself to suck it up and be with Edward. No, he had to play a part, every single time. No discussion.

Once, he had tried. He'd gone into the bedroom when summoned, as himself, and gone at the blonde. But Ed just didn't respond; oh, he'd _tried_ to be his noble little self and act like he was enjoying himself, but Envy could tell he wasn't in it, and had switched back to _fucking _Roy. After that, bam! Instant horny Edward.

Sometimes he thought about ignoring what the blonde wanted and just fucking him senseless while he was _him_, make Ed see that it could feel just as good, maybe better…but the boy wouldn't like it, and Envy was disgustingly reluctant to make him unhappy lately.

Other times he thought about calling it quits, just up and leaving, finding some other guy with a nice ass to get busy with. But again, his emotions kept him stuck to Edward, pleasing Edward.

Envy growled at the empty kitchen, and started to get up—to do what, he didn't know. Anything.

But there it was, that fucking summons, the blonde saying his name. "Envy."

It was one of the few times Edward ever called him by his real name, and it made him melt. Like an obedient puppy (half following the boy, and half his dick, which had been trained to know that _that_ tone meant a good time was ahead), Envy shifted into Mustang and walked back to their bedroom.

Fuck, Ed was hot. Lying on the bed like usual, shirt off, a tent beginning to form in his pants…and with a tiny smile on his face like his day had just been made. Envy stripped off his shirt as well, and climbed on top of the blonde, immediately attacking his lips.

No, Envy couldn't give this up. He couldn't pull himself away.

All he could do was try not to die inside when Edward moaned the wrong name against him. "Roy…"

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**So this depressing little idea has been in my head for ages and demanded to come out tonight...I like it, even though angst isn't my favorite thing to write...let me know what you think!**


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